In 2013 i was working from home for a firm called Sensee taking calls for Argos. I saved up some money and built a lovely log cabin down the bottom of the garden so I could take myself away from the house. I really enjoyed working from home and could work the hours to suit. However the boys mum was really struggling while i worked full time. We had a break away in May, but had to return home early because both boys were getting very upset. Daniel was now at the age where he could not go into the children's club, and mum wanted to have her time away from the boys. 

When we came home I put in extra hours and did some overtime. We were not rich and we were not poor, but managed to get by. Social work however started getting a number of concerns raised into mum shouting at all of us. She was getting very stressed in looking after both boys, and started to struggle to have quality time. Matthew had taken over the double bed and pushed me out, and mum was struggling to sleep through the night where Matthew would constantly kick her. 

 Later on through the year, the boy's Grandad Died suddenly with a heart attack. This sent mum back flying, and then finding out some very tragic news about our 1 year old niece who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. By the end of October significant concerns were raised and Social work had instigated a child protection case. 

 At this time I was not cooperating with the social work and my boss advised me to take the time off work and attend. It was the 31st October. I walked in as being a married man, and walked out with a massive life changing future. 

I was asked to take on the sole care of the two boys, and social work asked mum to move out of the family home to give both boys the chance to settle, because they were both getting very upset with mum constantly shouting at us. Both boys went to school to come home to face the future of not living with their mum. 

 Social work was very good and we arranged contact immediately. A few weeks went by and after a very positive contact, mum crashed out on the couch. The next day she went back to her mums to be told that she was not welcome under her roof. I couldn't see her homeless so she moved back in with us, however social work did find out and potentially I could have had both boys taken off me because of the seriousness of the abuse mum was giving us. However social work was okish and allowed mum to stay and kept a very close eye on the family. 

Two weeks before Christmas, both boys went to school very distressed after an incident where mum started shouting at me for making arrangements to go to a work Christmas party. She was very domineering and very controlling, so this led into her shouting at me and the boys. Social workers were informed by the school, and mum was asked to move out of the family home again. This time she refused. Social work started the process of applying to the courts to get the boys put into care, but then a suggestion came up that I could move out with the boys for a few days. The bottom line here is it wasnt a few days, it was the final time in the family home. 

 Both boys again went to school to have to face another huge change to their lives and we ended up in a homeless unit. I was unable to work because there was no internet and the rules advised that I was not allowed to work from the house. I could not get back to my office for my own safety, so I ended up having to give my job up. Mum refused to work with everyone which made things very difficult for all of us.                 

At the start of 2014,   I was very down. The housing officer came and did a housing application for me. It was such a huge blow as I had worked 24 years to pay for a mortgage, and I had only one year left before the house would have been paid up in full. Mum continued to refuse to cooperate with everyone. It was hard work to look after the boys because both of them had no awareness of what was going on. I was expected to deal with the situation myself. Ok i had emotional support, but it was the practical support i needed. 

In April I remember the day well. I was really down after hearing that the waiting list for housing was 3-4 years. I had been offered a house but the social worker contacted the housing and said the area was not suitable for us. It was a very rough area full of crime and drugs. I contacted the Lanarkshire carers trust and she advised me of a house up for bid with the local housing organisation. I registered and placed a bid, but was told not to build my hopes up. It was Easter time and I took the boys away to Blackpool. Out of the blue midway through the week I had a call to say that I had been successful in my application. 

 We moved in on the 1st May and I built both boys up to move in. It was a very emotional, stressful and exciting time. We moved in by the end of the week and I handed the key back to the housing for the homeless unit. Both boys found it very hard to adapt and cope with the move and it was very much hard work. I asked Social work for support to help me with the boys, but I was told that they needed me going through this very difficult time. Contact with mum wasn't going well and she would turn up and all visits were having an impact on both boys, then we would arrange to meet up and mum would not turn up, which in turn upset both boys. 

 At the end of October significant concerns were being raised into the boys after seeing mum, and social work went to the childrens panel and asked them to advise a break to allow the boys to have a settled period. Again mum refused to cooperate. I started an application to the courts to gain full residence so the boys were legally to stay with me. This was a lengthy process because mum failed to work with her solicitor, however eventually it was granted. It was a great relief because I could then go back to the children's panel to ask for the order to be finalised. This happened and the supervision order was removed. 

In  2015 Around this time we were then awarded Self Directed Support payments for both boys to start a support service. However I ended up recruiting a PA to come in and help. It was also around this time that the family home was formally handed to the building society. I walked into the house to collect my personal belongings. This year would have seen the house being mine, instead I walked in to hand everything over. It was the end of a very stressful 24 years having a mortgage. I was free! It was a huge relief. I could at least start my life with my two boys. 

 In March the PA handed her notice in because she was finding the job very stressful and they left. I tried recruiting another PA, but again they found the job hard. I can remember going out to do something to be called back to the house and the worker was in tears as Matthew had trashed the house, This then seen me going through the summer with no support, however i had a fair amount of emotional support through a single Dads support group i was involved in and we did go out on a number of trips through the summer. 

From 2015 - 2019 i am going to talk about school and the struggles of finding a suitable support in my next page